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Hewwo? hewwo, hewwo! uh, i wanted tuwu wecowd a message fow uwu, tuwu hewp uwu get settwed in own youw fiwst night. Um, i actuawwy wowked in thawt office befowe uwu. I’m...finishing up my wast week now as a mattew of fact so...I know iwt cawn be a wittwe ovewwhewming, but i’m hewe tuwu teww uwu: thewe’s nothing tuwu wowwy abouwt, uhh, you’ww duwu fine! so...wet’s juwst focus own getting uwu thwough youw fiwst week. Ok? uh...wet’s see. Fiwst thewe’s an intwoductowy gweeting fwom the company i’m supposed tuwu wead. Eeh it’s kind of a wegaw thing, uwu know. ‘wewcome tuwu fweddy fazbeaw’s pizza: a magicaw pwace fow kids awnd gwown-ups awike, whewe fantasy awnd fun come tuwu wife. Fazbeaw entewtainment iws nowt wesponsibwe fow damage tuwu pwopewty ow pewson. Upon the discovewy of the damage ow death has occuwwed, a missing pewson’s wepowt wiww be fiwed within ninety days ow as soon as pwopewty awnd pwemise have bewn thowoughwy cweaned awnd bweached awnd the cawpets have bewn wepwaced. Bwah, bwah, bwah.’ now thawt might sound bad, i know, but thewe’s weawwy nothing tuwu wowwy abouwt! uhh, the animatwonic chawactews hewe duwu get a bit quiwky at night, but duwu i bwame thewm? no! if i wewe fowced tuwu sing...those same stupid songs fow twenty yeaws awnd i nevew got a bath? i’d pwobabwy be a bit iwwitabwe at night too. So wemembew: these chawactews howd a speciaw pwace in the heawts of chiwdwen awnd uwu need tuwu show thewm a wittwe wespect. Wight? ok. So juwst be awawe: the chawactews duwu tend tuwu wandew a bit. Uhh, they’we weft with sowme kind of ‘fwee-woaming mode’ at night. Uhhh...something abouwt theiw sewvos wocking up if they get tuwned off fow too wong? uhh...they used tuwu wandew duwing the day too, but then thewe was the bite of '87. Yeah... it’s amazing thawt the human body cawn wive without the fwontaw wobe, ya know? now concewning youw safety: the onwy weaw wisk tuwu uwu as the night watchmen hewe, if any, iws the fact thawt these chawactews...uhh, if they happen tuwu see uwu aftew houws pwobabwy won’t wecognize uwu as a pewson. They'ww p-most wikewy see uwu as a metaw endoskeweton without iwt's costume own. Now since thawt's against the wuwes hewe at at fweddy fazbeaw's pizza, they'ww pwobabwy twy tuwu...fowcefuwwy stuff uwu inside a fweddy fazbeaw suit. Um, now thawt wouwdn't be so bad if the suits themsewves wewen't fiwwed with cwossbeams, wiwes awnd animatwonic devices especiawwy awound the faciaw awea. So, uwu couwd imagine having youw head fowcefuwwy pwessed inside owne of those couwd cause a bit of discomfowt... awnd death. Uh, the onwy pawts of uwu thawt wouwd wikewy see the wight of day again wouwd be youw eyebawws awnd teeth whewn the pop out the fwont of the mask, heh. Y-yeah they down't teww uwu these things whewn uwu sign up. But hey, fiwst day shouwd be a bweeze. I'ww chat with uwu tomowwow. Uh, check those camewas, wemembew tuwu cwose the doows onwy if absowutewy necessawy. Gotta consewve powew. Awwight, goodnight.
