May 25, 2022, 4:43 a.m.

COUNT DRACULA? STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING COUNT DRACULA GOD DAMN FOOL SOLICITOR COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT COUNT OF PISSTRITZ BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING COUNT DRACULA STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT COUNT DARCULA I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP ABILITIES WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD??? IS HE A BASTARD??? MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE FIRST PERSON NEVER SEEN THIS MANS REFLECTION AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST MOUSTACHE GET AWAY FROM ME if i wanted to get into heaven and god said Count Draculas waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down if i have to deal with Count Dracula writing one letter in person in email not only will i close the tab i will unsubscribe out of spite and have to reread the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects solicitors but i am just mad because i am angy he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of sherlock and wanted the irl version ill go ham BETTER have had a bloodrush make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him chapters not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his castle and I lost it where the fuck is Count Dracula if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt crusty old man ill punch Dracula and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final tea mug he kept on him at all times simply reading Now You Fucked Up in ancient british english im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point i hope theres a date given for when the count died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many solicitors