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Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, but then, once I was fully erect, it started being painful. My pp was stuck in the DVD, and I had to break it in half to get if out. It was then when I flipped the broken DVD over and realized that it was not a blank DVD, but a copy of the Pixar movie Up.. Well guys, guess I fucked up.
FrishayUk
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FrishayUk
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AmberlynnWEED
I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
AmberlynnWEED
Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it. Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy. What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
ShowTheHentai
?G̭̺̙͔̦̖̭E̞̫͙T͕͇?̩̩̭̗O̝̗̯̖͍͙̬͎U̲͎͕̳͓̱̖̯T̤?̞̮͓̙O͍͉̥̻̣̺̩̗F͔̜̻͙̥̱ͅ?̦͖͚͚̺͚M͙Y̘?͉̝̘̖̮̜H̱̬̲̯E̘̗̥̹͚͕ͅA̠̰̳͇̻̖͇̬D̩͍̩͔̭͓?͖̹G̻̞̺̬͓̫͙͔E̻̫̙̞T̹̙̹?̞͙͔̣̪̩O͙̪̹͙͈̪͖̘U͍͚̱͖T̫̫̝̰̝?̫̤̥̱̖̳̜O͎̼͔͖̥̩F͇̫̳͔̝?̬͉M͎̙̤̦̰̱͙Y̫̭̜͚̦͈̰?͈̖̰͎͉H̳̳̬͔͙̲ͅͅE̻͇̹̬̰̜̖̱A͈̜D̜̣͕̫̯̻̝̭?̰G̠̲͔̻͔̙̯E̯͚̙̘T̙̜͍̳̩̣͕̭?̠̪̪͎̱O̹̰̺͙̘̪̭̞̱U̻̮͔͈̠ͅT̫͍͖̪̞͚?͎̖̥͇O͕̩̯̠̹̜͖F̗͉͚͈̤?̘̠͈̲̦͉̠M̝͈̰̥̹̗̯ͅY̻͕̳͔̠̟̼̙̣?̜̗̩̼͓͖H̪͍̞͓̟̠̼̻E̥̰͕̳̣͉̪̭A͔D̗̮?͔̜̜͙̤̹̩G̗̤͙̩̤̳E̜̗̥̼̲̺T̫͇̞̺̞?̭̩̦̹̹̭O̭̯͉̫͎̻̮U̮͇͇͔̗T̞̭̦̼̗̹?̜̪͖͍O̰͓͎̘̜̙͕F̞̝̖?̩̟͖̭͍̦M̺̖̙̺Y͙̫̤̺̠̰?̞̫̩H̖̤͍̣͔̟ͅE̞̹̞̗̭̳Ḁ̗͚͔͖D͓͇̱͍̖͙ͅ?͈̳G̟̫̣͎̞͖͔͇Ẹ̘̦̭ͅT̩̻͎̹͓̭?̺̦̞͔̫̟O̫U̪̪̩T͉̻̰͎̙̹̣̯?͍̲̰̟O̞̬͚̻̞̹̪̳ͅF͚͓̤͓͕̱͖?̦̟̣̖͇̦͕̞M͍̬͚̠̪̙Y̖̮̟̜̗̻̺?̪H̬̝̬̼̫̺̗̦E͈̱A͈̗̜͚̭̱͇̙ͅD̳̻?̫̣͚̭̪͉͔̲G̠̼̘͖E̥͎̯̥T̲͎̭̱?̟̻̥͈̹͙O̠͍͖̥͍͓U̖͇͇̫T̤̯̳̗͔̣͇̳?̳̮͈̭̠̖̬̠O͈̩̻̟̤F͈̱͕͈?̣͈͍̜̖̺M̰͍̙̺̗͍Y̖̬̜̗̝̦?̟͓͈̦H̝͔̪̣̜̪͔͉E̩͖̞͈̲̦͇̠A̤̰͍̟̝̳̦D͎͖̬̟̠̤̦̙?̦͖̪̗̥͔G͓̲̥E̙̣T̠̱̝͉̦̬̪̟?̞̼͕̥O͍͎̗̺͙U͉̦̞̼̪̳̹̼T̲͚͓̙?̙̯̗̞O̘͇̟̩̯F̝̟?̟̱̬M̖̭̲͇̩̘̗Y͇̯̘̱̳̥̖?ͅH͔͔̰̺̬̙E͇͈̮̠͚̫͉̻A̘̻̰̳̦D͓ͅ?͚͈̜̝͕̺G͉̙̺̞̰E̳͈̯̗̞̮T͙̯̺̺͍̯?̮̩O̰ͅU̖ͅT͍̜?̪̫̘̠O̯̘̹̮̮̞̟̤F̱̲͇͙?͎̺͉̞̝̰M̼͓̰͎͚̯Y̭̬̟̜̮?̪̘̩H̬̹͎͓̞̺͉E̬̬̦A̪͈D̜̖̖̫͈̝?̼̹͖͕̥̺̠͎G͎̜̯̗͇͓̮E̖̤̜͓Ț͇̭͉̳?̙͚̙͖̠̹O̫͚̞U͔͖̭͕͇̭T̫̜̬?͇̥̳O̮͓̟͓͚F̦̟̲̣͇̙̬̦?̜̬̭̱̯̳ͅM̼̝̰̤̻̪Y͙̣̘ͅ?̜̮͇̪H̺̘̱͍͖̠̳̣E̻̦͎̝̠̙̬̖̥A̺̻͈͉̤ͅD̟̺̮̭̗̹?̟̺̠̪̣̲G̬͚̠E̱̥̱͍̝͕͎͓T͇̪̗͙̟?͉͈O͕͉U̫̤̫̞T̼̯͉̹̳͓̫̬?̭͍͙̣̹̪̼̙̜O̹̱̠͈̥̰ͅF̫͕͍̪͓̙̰?̝͎̣͇̹̫̞̩M̳̻̟̫Y̪̲̞̝?̖̯H̺͉̲Ḙ͕͓͎A̹͕̹̩D͓͚̗͓͕̼͕͇͍?̱̝̥̜͉̟G͍̤̦͎͇͍E̠͙̫Ṯ̭͖̳̘͖?̩͚O̞̲̠U̖͚̳ͅT̜̤̯̤?̤͇͔̮̯͎͓͖O̳͉F̯͙̭͕̬ͅ?̬̜̠̪̲̟M̙̼͉̪̲̗͙͓͈Y̯̦̩͈?̪̯̬͙̟̳H͈̯͖͍̪E̲̹A̺D̠͍͖͚̫͍̰?͕͉͎͕̙͕͓ͅG͎̰͇͕̦Ẹ̮̥̹͎̯Ṭ̘̻?̳̠͓͔̻̟O̻̘͓̭̟͙̹̣U̮̭̭͙͙͍̯̘T̻͔̥͙̠̬͇ͅ?̙͙̜ͅO̪̯̺̤̮͈F̙̺̖͉̞?͍̻M̬̟͇Y͈̖̰̭?̘H̤̬̪E͕̟͙̱A͇̪̗̤̼D̪̟?̠͈̙̗G̫̘̪̖̼̦̭͎E̼T͚͕̟̰̼̭̬͕?͕ͅỌ̙U͕̦̳͍͔̭͕̦̝T̥̺͓͍̺̭̥?͚O̰̤̰ͅF̻͉̞͚̱͓͓̥ͅ?̣̩̪̠̬̝M͕Y͈̫̩̼̲̱̪?̲̼͇͕̠͈̼H͉͚̬̥̮ͅẸ͖A̱̘͙͚̱̥͇ͅD͚̪̥̮̲̹̱?̜̠G͙̘͚͙̮̫E͎T͔̝̳̬̗̗͓?͎͕͎̞͖͚̱̣̲O͔̮̪̭̣̼U͙͚̫͕T͚̝̯͔̮̱ͅ?̗̱̥̝̥̻̩̩O̫̞F̩͇̻͚̪̰͙?̱M̘̻͖Y̰̝̠̫̱̥̺̭?̭̜̮͉H̫͖E̜̝̜͎͍̲͙̮͍A̺̼̻̱̝̜͎̙D̯̭̝?̘̹̱G̗̞͔͔͎̼̟̩E͚̗̤̩̹T̗̤͓̭̱̦ͅ?̻̙̖̱ͅO̹͎̙̺̰U̞̣̰͙͇T̖͓͉̗͕͇̰̳?̩̠̮̞̫ͅO͎̟͚̞̙̼͎̖ͅF̰̱?̪͙͉̗̗͖M̫̤̝͔Y̭͙͙͈͇̳̤̤̩?̼̥̥H̻͍͓E̲̦͙̘̰͚A̙̞D͎̪̭͓̮̝͇͍?̰̹̱͖͓͉̲G̩͓͍̠̘̱E̼̩̗̮̲͕T͙̙̤͖͓̝̬̺?̮͙̰̙͈̗O͚̟U̠͍̫̙̲͍̫͓̝T̻?̦͖̫̞͉̟͕̣O͍̣ͅF͚̹̩?̭̮̦̖̰̦̳̭M̭̱̝Y̻̯̗͚̻?̭͔̬̱H͙̠E̩̼͔͓̣̣̯̝A͈̱D̖͉̥̜?̵̧͔̖̩̻̹̥̲͍͇̳̻̺͉͍̯̱̠̫̯̹̰̲̪̦̠̺̘͖̹̳͖̙̄͒́́͌̐̋̆̀̄͑̾̃͐̓͗͂͘͜͠ͅͅ█̸̡͍̹̭̮̩͈̖͙̞͖̠̬̞͎͚͖̫̭̞̠͍͕̩̭̪̖͚̌̑̉̑͛̓̅̏̽̔̈̆͂͊̃̾̔̃͊̎͊͆̿͗̊̽̓́̓̋̇̈́̇̋͋͒͘̚͜͝͠͝█̴̧̡̨͉̝͉͚͖̭̘͎̭̲͖̘̲̹͙̰̩͔̠͈̭̫̙̼̘͑͂̃͑̍̂ͅͅ║̸͉̦̺͓̫̬̞͈͔͖̯͈̼̤̟̿̃̃͌̀̓́͒̽͗̈́͒͆̂́̑͊͜͝͠ͅ░̴̧̧̪̘̱̥̝̬̹̺͉͇̻͓̙̥̫̹͙̄̈́͑̇̀̽́͋͋͌͒͜͜ͅ░̶̧̧̹̣̺̪͔͖̙̳̹̬͔̼͇̘̔̑͊̀̈̈̂̾͛̓̎̚█̶̢̮̜̖̬͎̭̝͔̦̉̆͂̒̌̍̀̌̓̃̆̄͗̓͛̉̓́̾̈̆͋͌̄̏̓̔̕͝͝͠͝͠ͅ█̶̨͖͕͖̬̗̞̫̐̇̅̂͋́͗̀́̿̓̔̕║̷̢̡̣̘̣͎̘͇̦̰̪̖̳̗̑̈́̀̈̔͌̑̆̌̾́̉̑̒̄̏̕͘͠͝█̴̡̢̛̠̱̼̪̝̣̩͖̭͖̰̯̺͇͍̤̻̻̥̜̘͉̠̫͓̜̤͕̻̖͚̫̞̲̃͋̊̈́̈̎̍̒̓̋̄̑́̒̀̕̚̕͝͝͠͝ͅ█̶̛̛͍̲͇͙̭̠͇͉͊͊̂́̽͌͑̐͛̄͌̔͋̀̉̏̿͐͑̈́̋̕͘̕͝͠͝█̷̡̢̧̨̛̙̝̗̣͖͚̲͍̖̫̲̘̺̱̜̩̖̰̹̙̞̉̒͂̍̿̽̅̇́͋̔̐̀̔͐̐͒́̐̋̉̚͝█̶̨̛̩̰̘͍̤̥͇̖̻̠͚͓̈́͆͐̐̉͐͗̐̈́̑͛̾̾̏̆̉̓̀̓̏̇͆̆̚͘̕͝͝͠͝͝█̸̨̢̢̢̢̝̱̩̼̺̳̩͇͉̙̲͇̞̗͇̣̳̱͓̜̗͙̞͖̪̥͕͈͔̀͌̏̈̃̓█̴̨̢̢̧̢̛͕͍̳̼͍̦̳͈̬̗̳̦̳͕̣̪͓̳͇͍͙̣̞̏̀͂̃̋̈́̔̒̎̆̎͂͑̂̃̇̉̋̿̓͋̾͊̚̕̚͝͠͠█̸̡̛̼̙̙̗͚̱̯̤̯̹̹͆̑̓͊͛̄͗̀͒̇͝͠║̵̢̢̤̘͓͕̜̫͍͚̘̞͕̊̌͐̐͐̿̃̄̇̎̎̋͗̿͋̾̓̄̂̎̓̾̄̇̓͐͗̌̑̉̏͛̀̈̅͘̕͠͝╚̶̧̥̗͙̣͉̹̟͓̼͍̟̜̩͖̹͎̦̼͖̘̬̰̻̜̞͈͇̩̼̙̠̠̖͇͚̠̩͍͚̺̭͊͊͗̔̑̀̋͒͆̽̌̌̈̅͆̌̓̉͌̿̑̿̈́̈́̃̄̎̏͗̕̕͝͝͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅ█̷̡̠̘̭̓́̃̈̀́͒͌͆͌̍̉͂͆́́̉̇̐̾̓̀͒̄̐͗̓͘̚͝͝█̸̨̧̡̨̧̢̖̰͈̪͍͓̙̲͚̥̖̙͙̻̪͓̹̹͍̲͙̙͔̟̝̙̻͚̺̮̱̦̹̰̼̇̈́̊͐̓́̏͆͐̽̊͒̐͑̎͋̌͘̚͜͝ͅ█̴̡̧͚̲͙̜̮̳͎̗͖̥̳̺̱̭̼̫̬̦͍͚̳̪̈͌͊͒͐̅̃̈́́̚͜͜█̴̢̛̤̜͈̠̰̹̻̖̺̺̖̆͌͋̈́̒̔̓̈́͛̍͌̔̈́͐̃͌͆̋̆̏̓͘█̸̢̡̺̫͇̣͍͇͕̺̪̲̯͉̥͔̐͒̅͂̐̂̑̅́̈́̿̓̾͑̿̀͗̒͛̋̏̓̏͂̿̏̊͂̃̚̕͜͜͠ͅ╗̴̧̧̙̱̟̮͈͙̼̻͚͕̥̤͇̠̲̗̟͙̫͍̤̟̫͗̍͛̉͛̃̓̇͊̋̀̏̽͒͊̍͜͜ͅͅ░̸̨̡̡̡̨̢̨̛̘͖͍̜͉̠̦̱̙͇̙̩͎̘̳̪̥̪͙̲͔̺͈̯̟̬̳̱̠̙̩̦̺̀́͊̅͂͌̈́̉̌́̓̋̈́͗̓͊̆͋͛͛͒́̓̆̀̓̾̏͗͐͆̽̍̋̈́̐̓̇̕͜͝͝ͅͅ█̸̨̧̟̹̠̰̞̀̋͒͌̂́̏͊̉͂̂̌̾̌̐̽͒͒̆̋̏͝͝ͅͅ█̴̢̨̳̗̝̲͉̤͎̱̖̘̟̖̘̞̹͔͓͎̹̈́̍̉̐̉̌̀̊̄̀́̈́̂͋͑͐̃̂̇̇̓̈̽́̌̑͛̓̅̓͜͝͝║̵̡̻̺̂͌̽̑̂̆͗̐̊̄̓̍̀̊͐͌̀͋̈́̍̔͊͗̏̒̽̐̇̂̓̈͑͐̽̔̀̿̀̚͝͝░̸̡̢̨̨̛̩̱̤̯̱̱̠̥̼̞̖̟̳̠̺̼͎̗͔̗̟̱͚̳͉̯̻̹͉̻͉̣̗̞̥͉̣͇̤̔̃͗͛͒̃͑̓͌̌͋̄̍̎͛̈́̀̐̐̓͛̅̑͋̏̐̐͛̄̇̔̋̊̈́͘̕͜͝░̷͔͓͙͔̣̃̈͑̌̃̓̓͆̈́̓͐̌̈͋̈́̑̿͑̎̊̊͐̄̆̎̈́̓̿̌̂̈́͆̂̕͠͠͠█̴̨̨̡͓͕͍͈͕̗̗̣͈͚͚̥͆̑́͒̃͋͒█̶̢̨̨̡̨̡̡̛̛̝̠̰̹̝͍̲̱̗̩̩̬̞̜͎̗̞̟͈̳̟̫̳̙͙̙̯͍̼͙͙̭̬̥̹̜͛͌́̋͛̆͑̋͐̈̃̀͛̑̾̄͌̋̀̌̉͋̄̽̏̏̓̑̀̎͛́̒͒͊̈́̑̚͝͝͠͝║̶̢̝̻̻̭̲̫̗̖̖͎̰̣̼͕̳̮͍̻̤̻͍̳͙̬͎̪̥̙̀̐̓̇͐̈́͊͋̔̆̈͒̍̄̽̈́̉̎́̉̈́̋̏̋͒̎̿̋͗͘͘͝ͅ█̷̢̛̼͍̜͙͎̫̺̱͍̰͍̺̩̖͙̖͛̔̅̿́͂̿̍̾́̑̀̑͂͑̓́̕̚█̵̝̬̦͚̙̤̦͎͕̝̪͙͖̝͈͓̖͎̩̘̾̒̊̓͑̀̋̈́̐͂̌̈́̓̍͛̃̀͑̾̆̃̎̒͘ͅ█̷̨̢̢̧̧̛̖͉͍̗̳̣̫̟̟̯͉͓̱̫̗̯̝̩̪̻̩̥͚̤̘̃̃͒̈́͂̋̂͗̽͐̄̏̍̆͋̊͋͂͐́̅̽͌̓̏͊̈̈́̔͊́̂͘͘͝͠͝͠█̸̢̧̘̤̜̫͚͍͈̜͉̰̞͖̭̘̓͐̏͗͐̈́̄̌̔̐̀̓̑͌̎͊͊̓̍͒͐͗̋̓͂̈́̑̏͒͆͘͘͠ͅ█̸̢̧̢̢̭͕̤̰̘̬̭̹̣̰͈͍̹͚̺̟͙̪̺͙͙̯͔͐̇̏́͛̏̆̒̈́͒̿̈͐̊̃̓̅̈́́̓̇͋̇́̈͊̈́̕͝ͅͅ█̸̡̩̰͓̳̞͉̞͇͗͌█̶̢̢͈͙̖̮̹̦̹̟̫̭̺̱͙̔̃ͅ║̵̨̖̪̗̦͔̂̀̐̓͆͑͐̆̅̌̐̅͗̽̓̈́̽̒̐̔͛̒̐̈́̿͆̕̚̕͝͝͝͝͝͝█̸̡̡̢̨̡̛̺͔̳̳̳̙͖̖̫̳̳͙̣̻̺͉̘͓̩̟̹͇͖͓̭̹̠̼̲̩̜̯̝̘̼͍̮̘̗͗́̒̈́͆̾̽̑̎̒̀̍͑́̾̉͆̒͆͑͒̈́̀̿͠͠͠͝͝͝█̷̛̛̱̤̭̝̬͇͍̖̦̗̠̭̤̟͈̯̘͇͉̱͙̺̤͔̹̟̺̘͍̪̱̣̇̑̀̈̈̅̈͌̄̅̈́͌̆̔́͊̌͘͝█̵̨̯̦̲̟͚̰̗̻̤͚̰͇͎̭̬̙͉̣͇͕͔̘̙̯̘͉̞̣͇͇̼͕̣̘͙͖͋͒̑̽̂͊̎̆̆̒̐̆̊̔̄̅̒̉̒̿̚̚͝͠█̷̧̡̧̡̡̛̰͈͔̬͖͍̩͖̥͖̲͈͙̜̖̻̠̖̹̭̙̫̤̮̺̭̼͕̤̟̻̥̖̜̺̝͐̆̂̈́̒̇̋̑̽̔̔͗́̓̿̀̋̇̀́͋̉̏̿̔̋̈́̏̕͜͠ͅ█̷̨̡̡͔̬̫͖̮̜̗̯̦̟̥̠̻̦̗̺̰̯̦̥͓͔͓̼͚͍͔͖͍̠̰͖̦̠̯́́̂͊̃̀͗̓̄͊̓́̊̆̏̑̏̔͆͆̕ͅ█̶̧̡̨̫͚̗̫̳͍͔͎̳̭̬̫̺͔̮͎͇̈́̾ͅ█̸̱̯̗̲̺̗̖̤̰̖͈̄͊̽̄̋͋̈̄͗║̶̸̢̨̡̧̨̡̢̨̧̢̢̧̧̛̻̱̤̖̬̪͕͔̤̺̦͙̝̰͇̟̪͓͚̣͔͙̪̭̤̘̘̹̯̪̘̱̬̗̻̥͍͉̻̯̼͚̲̖̞͖̟̖̣̙̺͔͕͙̠̪̞̪̉̿̓̄̏̋̒̀̓̌̎̈̒͆͊͋̍͋̎̇̏̍̃̈́͐͘͜͝ͅ█̶̧̛̱̠̟̠̞͎̭̞͎͍̙̳̝̝̘̗̘̰̲͋̉̓͐̈͋̒͊͊̒̔͐̾̈̌̎̄̉̊̊̂̋̚̕̚̕̕͝͝ͅ█̸̢̢̧̡̛̛̖̖̗͎͍̟͇͎͇͚̟̣̱͔͍̖͔͖̮̳̜̜̭̙̦̮̱̺͍͑̾͑̓̆́̎̾̈́̇̋̅̓̀̌̿͊́́̔̎̋͋̔̃̚̚͜͜͝͝ͅ║̸̨̯̘̞̐̋̊̍͌͑̋́̓̍̏̉̅͊̔͐̆̈́̑̄̓̀̇̽͑̎̓̿̑́̕̕̚̚͝͠░̵̧̡̡̧̢̡̡͚͈̭͔͚̭͕̱̪̺͇̠̘̟̩̟͕̖͙͔͖͎͉̗̣͚̥̫̳̹̣̞̞̻̂͆͗͗̂͛̔̂̿̄͊̏̀́̍̃̔̔̍͘͜͜͠͠͝░̶̛̣̭̝́̈̀̒̂͐́̊͌̎͒̍̀͂̀͑́̌̓̋̔̋̀͑̅̕̕̚̕͠͝͝█̵̧̨̢̧̢͍͇͕̬̞͖̯̙̤̻̫̖̩̞̼̈́̀͋̈́́̅̀̓͐̆͐͜͝█̵̧̙͓̻͍̞͖̱̩̖̥͖̝̈́̋͐̈║̶̢̡̨̢̬̣̮̘̺̞̘̥͓̯͓̺͙͇̯̲̞͖̞̱̣̭̫̠͔̘̠̼̎̀̉̈́́̆̎̐̇̎̀̈́̈́̏̔̾͠͠͝█̶̨̧͙̗̼̪̟̱̣̼̦͇̠̥̞͕̗̩͎̻̣̻̺̩̻̦̟̫͓̝̱̥̱̖́̌̌̄̓͗̄͒̓̈̒̈̏͐̀̆͒̆͐̔͘̕̚͜͜͝█̷̢̡̧̨̧̧̛̛̟̗̞̬̥̖̠̱̩̫̹̫̼͔̞̫͕̝̪̫̣͉̜͖̱̟̹̯̙̣͕̄̃͑̃͌̅̌̇̈͌̿͆́̈̉͒́͊̃͑͂̅̀͋͌́̿͊͛̒̊̾̚̕̕͜ͅ╔̷̧̨͕͍̬̜̻͕̝̪͔̖̗̳̯̺͎̜̤̗̹͖͕̘̼͉̥̪͎̭̰͔̗̖̘͖̣͕̘̈́̉̇̓̅̈́͛͑͊̅͑̆̄̾͐͌̿́͌́͋͋̾̓̑̋͂̒͋̈̈̚̚̚͜͝͝͝═̵̛̯͖́̆̾̾̍̄̍̇́̔̔̾̃͐̎̑̀̂͊̓̍̒̊̈́͛̌̏́͑͒̋͋͘̕̕͝͝═̷̢̛̛̛̛̳͈̩̘͈͉̹͒̊͑̂͊̈͆̌͆͛̿̆̉͂̈́̑̾̒̄̔̂͛͛̀̌̊̈̃̊͛̅̋͛̏͛͊̚͘͝͝█̷̛͚̀͑̓́͊͂͆̒̈́͘̚█̵̧̨̨̲͙͖̞͉͕͈̬͕̹̥̜̩̼̫͕̳͂̈͊̽͋͘ͅ║̴̛͍͈̝͈̬̮͉͉̳̤̰̱̟̠̌͗̐̓̿̊́̃̈́̔̂̿̇̍̄͆͂̇̐͆͑͊͛͒̿̾̿̓̇̈̓͗̏̕͘͘͘͜͠͝͠ͅ░̶̡̨̧̡͚̘̣͎͇͓͔̬̹͇̝̖̖͈̖̦̠͖̳͔͕̯̯̤̘̅̓͘͘͜͜͠͠͠͝╚̷̨̢̧̨̛̛̛͚̖̲̞͈̩̭͙̟͙̥̱̠͚̪̟̞̺̟̖̗̻̥̹͉̀̍͊͑͌̉͛͆̈͛̂̏͑̌̍̈́̌͋͘͘̕͜͝ͅ═̴̧̺̤͉̲̝̭̬̥̭̱͎̬̋͛̋̍̈́̎̐̎͌̆͘͜͝ͅ═̶̨̢̧̢̡̛̥̻̯͓͚̘͉̘͇̻̻̲̩̫̯̼͉͔̜̠͇̟̹̺̭̪̜̟̱͔͚̣̻̹̞͎̱̈́̋́̒̄͠ͅ═̷̢͙̼̙͓̮̞̠̼͓̪̲̀̌͗̾̒̽͆͗̍̋̓̀͆̎͛̍̂͆͋́͆̇̓̓͂̋̓͘͘͠͠͠█̷̙̻̱͇̇͒̐̃̈́̃́͒̈̐̌̆̃̊̑̚͝͠͝█̴̧̧̛͚̠̝̪̻̤̲͈̳̯̮̫̪͇̻̙̘̞͙̞̬͔͕̝͎̹̱͙̜̼͈͚̪̦̉̉͋̍͆͒̈́̋̍̉͛͒͌̌͒̀̆̊̇́́̓͒̈́̈́̒͐̾͆́́̕̚̕͝͝ͅͅ╗̸̧̧̨̧̛͔̯͈͖̯͚͖̪̹͈̥̮̘̙̦̻̗̭̠̲̤̫̜̤̲̺̫̲̼̙͚͕̦͂̊̿̓̈͊͆̿̉̂̉̆̊̐̑̂̄̈͊̈́̈́̚͝͝█̸̨̢̛̩̫̮̹͖̭̺̺͙̩̮̳̞̲̤͗́̅̆̓͐̃̎͑̀̋̈́̉̓̄̋͒͌̀͑̆̓͑̏̓̂͌̈́̾̔̇̚͘͠͠͝ͅ█̷̡̨̢̨̛̖̮̦̯̦͍̰̰̪͕̬̻̰̣̝͎͎͎͔̫̊̔̐̍̆͊̔̑͌͒͂͒̓̾̍͌̊̓͒̓͋͑̋̓̓̂̊̃͛̌̏͌̍͘͜͜͠║̷̮̤͔͓͎͖̱̗̠͇̜̳̖̮̗̬͙̹͔̜̜̬̹̯͛͒͋͑̚ͅ░̵̨̛̮̙̹̪̣͙̪̩͈̰̜̗̠̘̱͕͖̺͚͈̠̤̼̳͕̝̂̽̀͛̒̒́̆̀́́͛̒̿͑̇̒̐͂́̈́̒̆͋̔͛͆́̆͐͛̑̕͘͜͝͝░̶̛̛͙͉̙͇̞͖̳̪̦͖̳̘̘̖͇͉̻̥̖̖̖̬͚̖̃͛̀̈́͐͆̆̄͗̈́̅͌̇̏̈̽̂̆̓́̕̚͜͝͝͝ͅ█̴̨̢̧̛̻̖͙̹̜̝͚̠̘͙̱̗͔͍̱̪̼̩̞̤̪̯͙̖̗̺͉͇̞̬̦̱̱̲̘͊͒̄̏̀̀̑́̍̄̌̂̔͐̓̓̇̆͂͛́͑͊̑͂̃̓̊̅͆̀́̍̕͜͜ͅͅ█̵̢̧̢̛̛̠̥͚͈̜̻̦̬͕͎͓͇̗̲͖̪̣͇̮̳̙̣̫͈̳͔̜̥͇̥̹̙̬̣̪̭̙̾̄̐̅̍́͛̎͐̉͋́̊̈́̿̈́̔͂̈́̂̎͜͜ͅͅ║̴̬̰̖̲̲͈̳́̀́͆̚█̸̡̡̡̨̧̨̪̬͍͎̝̺͖͓͙̓̾̀̐̅́͂͋̃͗̑͆̏̈́͒̋́̀̒͋̔͆̋̃̕̕͘͝͝█̵̞͋̈͒̈́̇̃̉̒͂̈́̾̍̃͋̒̉͐̐̐̇́̀͌̆͊̚̚͘̚͘̚̕͝╔̷̢̢̢̢̛̺͖͖͍͇̳̗̗̼̹̲̰͍͉̙̳̯͇̪͇̝̼̬̗̣͇̮̣̣̺͉̬͉̮̠͕̆͊̎̑̍͌̋̋̃̆͊͂̽̌͐̑̏͛̍̀͘̕͝͝ͅ═̸̢̛̤̺̳̠̮̖͇̉̈́̆̊̍̎̒̈́͋́̑̌̓̎̄̿̊̎̈́̅̌̿́͆̌̈́̐̀͊̑͌̚̚̕̕̚͠͠═̵̡̨̨̛̲͔̤̼̝͇͎̩̌̆͗̾̈͗̈̅͌͊̿̔͒̂̊̐̀̇̿̉͐̈́͒̀̊̓̀̾̈́̍͠͠█̶̡̡̢̧̨̖̟̝̹͖̜̠͈̥̙̠̙̺͍͔̮̲͚͚̝̣͎̘͔̰̾̒̉̈́͒̑̋͌̃̉̃͜ͅ█̸̢̢̧̛̦̗͓͇̺͓̤͎̳͇̖̬̬̮̭̳͍͈̼̟̘̠̊̀͒͐̒̔̒̄̈́͑́̇͂͜ͅ║̸̧̢̧̠̫̟̬̬͈̣͓͖̣͙̣̲̱̤̤̖̖̳̠̰͍͚͉̱̩̭̝͙̥͔̩͎͗͛́̍͒̑̋̈́͒̅̈̆̓͐̈́̃̇̇̀́͋͗̾̐̌̓̒̿̇̈́̔̋̈́̆̈́͊̓͂͑͜͜͜͝ͅͅ█̶̡͇̲̭̦͎̮͔̜̤̘̎̅̅̅́͐͒̄̍̽̑̃́̈́̒͑͗̌̓͘͠͝͝█̶̢̢̱͇̮͓̩̜̪̞̺̗̰̺̪͍͍̠̭͍̘̘̭̥͎̺͙͙̙̭̣͊̇͒̍͗̎̑͗̌͑̽̀̔͛͌͑̓́̈̉́̓̇̔̇͊͑̋̍̏̎́͘̚͜͜͠͝╔̷̨̡̛̛̲͖͚̯̥͓̠͇̗̻̉̐̇̓̾͊͒̎̔́̇͆̋̆̃͠═̴̢̪̱͕̠̘̲̞̘͔̻̟͎̫̹͎̮̟̙͔̱͍̻̣̟͔͈̀̀̀̓̄̊̈̎̐̀̊̈́̍͂̾͘̕̚̚̕͜͝͝͝ͅ═̴̡̡̡̢̨̝̭̰͉̹̻͔̹͙̖̥̗͓͔̼̜͓̬̥̟̠͔͍̳̰̪̝̠̖̑́̈́̏̕͜ͅ█̷̨̯̯͍̹̬̙͍̙̞͈͈̲̥̜̾̇̓̀́͋͆̽̎͛̔̏̐̀͌̂̆̎̀̏̐̕͘͝ͅ█̷̢̨̡̛̖̲̰̣̪̲̼̫̩͓̈́̑̓̾͐̊͑̔͊̽̏̓́̀́͛̔̅͋͋̎̄̓̅̂́̈́͛͂̅̌͒̐̈́̆̊͐͂̎̚̚̚ͅ║̷̵̨̢̡̡̧̨̢̛̬͙͇̞̻̰͓̳̘̱͈̪̥̙̫̤͙͇͈̲͙̤̬̪̼͕͔̞̟̹̖̥̼͈̘͕͉͔͙͕͉̬̯͚̝̫̥͙̱̠̤̙̪̝̫̘̗͙͇̥̜͖̗̯̖͕̖̝͆̍̾̉͋͌͊͌̈́̂́̀̽̅̓̎̑̌̽̑̆̊̎̆͂̒͋͂̂̑̈́̍̒̊̈́͘̚̚͜͜͝͠͠͝ͅ█̴̡̛̛̛̛̮̩͉̺̦͈̾̄̈́͐̑͒͋̆̎̆̂̀̒́̓͌̆̅͗̍̌̀͂͌͛̓͆͑̔́̕̕̚͘͝͝█̷̡̢̢̛̛̝͍͈̝͇̹̯͙̣͖̖̜͎͇̺̣̰͙̗̖͕͙̯͈̼̱̦̼̓͆̍̀́̿̈̓̿͂̒̿͋̄̂͊̇̕̚͜͜ͅ█̸̢̡̢̢̨̢̛̻̝͖̞̣̙̣̯̭͖̲̺̥̦̘̙͎͎̥͎̙̤̟̝̙͚̐̋͑́̇̆̎́̄́̅͆̄̇́͆͂̍̆͂͋͒͑̈̐̍̈́̿̀͆͒͐͂̕̚̚̕͠█̶̧̢̙̤͔̩͕̥̹̯͙̗̱̼̙̝̺͕̤̬͉̗̬͓̣̣͚̜͕̗̗̩̜̞̠̼̗͙͇̳̦̆̈́͆͗̍̈́̌͂̃̾͌́̃̉̆̈́̎̈́̋̐̎̈͘͝͝█̴̛͎̮̮͚̰̼͖͕̗̖͆̾̑̏͗̈́͒͑̌̈́̄̈́͂̈̈́́͋̂́̃̏́͘̚̕͝͝͝ͅ█̵̡̭̠͉͙͖͈̻͇͇̘͙̫̱͓̮̺̼͎̲̦͕̉̀̌̌͛̔̂̄̈́͒̾͊͑͑͐̽̉̄̀̕͝ͅ╔̵̢̛͚̦͍͇̼̗̫̦̤̯̤͕͈͇̦͈͇̪̝͎̉̊͌̽͑̔͗͐̇̑͌̀̏̀̏͗̄̍̂̈́̈́͐́̓͘͜͜͝͝͝͝ͅ╝̷̧̢̨̙͕͎̠̻̞̺̯̗̼͔̯͇̳̙͔͚͈̞̟̼̬̰̜̺͙̙̋̄̀̊́̿̽͐͌͊̓̅̄́̌̾͒̑̚͘̕͘͜͜͠͝ͅͅ█̴̡̧̢̲͓͔͖̺̟̪͖̣̮̘͉̝̩͎͕̗̼̹̝͙̈́ͅ█̵̮̘̉̇̅̑͛̈́͒̂̀̉́̉͛̾̑͐͛̀̇̍̚̚͠͠ͅ║̴̡̡̭̩͉̰͕̘̘̹̼͈̪̬̖̥̭͉̺̭̯̦̜͙̣͇͚̥̰̞̰̑̇́̈́͊͑̌̀̉̄̑͊̐̓̍̀͑̍̾́̆̓̒̇̋́̅͂̽̏͝͠░̴̨̮̖͈͔̮͙̬͇̮͇͔̥͖͕̒̾̓̍͋̚░̶̡̨̡̡̛͖͉̫̦̟̦̼̠͓͙͎̮̠̘͕̜̽̆̀̈̌̊̇́̏̏̆̓̀̓̈́͋̈̏̆̾͋̂͌̉̑́͊̌̚͘͝͝͠͠█̷̛̜̞̪̲̝̲̩̤̬̣͊͆̎̿̒̐̔́̈͆̾͛̑̃̽̎̾█̸̢̛̮̉̾͋̎͐̈́́́͒̀͊̆͌̋̊̽͒̅̀̂͐̈́̋̒̏̓̾̑͛̃͂̀̿̚̕͘̕͝͠͝║̵̢̛̛̦̰̣̙̳͉͓̥͎̟͈̥̘̰̦̯̖̮̻̫̬͙͖̗̠͉̦̼̜̠̮̑́͆̊̋̐́͒̂̏̿͗̇̉͂̄̿̂̑̈͛͜͠͝█̸̢̧̛̯͍̤͍̭̠͓̠̱̠͉̪̲̫̖͈͔͙̱̘̝͓̗̭̠̼̪̤̟͉̙̞͓͕̬̩͕̲̙̂̾̄́̏̎̾͐̈́̍͗͒̑̓͋͑͒͋̌́̋͋̏̐̇͌̍̇̇͂́̏̀͆̅̎͂̒̐͒̚͜͜͝͠ͅ█̶̢̯̤̍͆̀́̽̌̉͗̿́͑̋̆̑͑̀̉̽͋̌͊͑̈́͘̕͝█̴̰̦̭͖̹̞̱̩͇͎̜͉̖̗̙̖̳͍̼̞̩̈́͆̏͆̔̒̏̈́̚͜͝█̸̧̡̡̼̭͔̥̯̱̞̯̟͖͈̻̗̳̞̬͇̣̺̯͍̯͇̯̱̪̩̬̣͚͈̠͎̳̱͖̺̦̯̋̇͗́̉̌̀̈̍̿̌̓̽̿̉͐̽͊̄̈́͒̂̉͆͂́̓̄̇̔̅̋̚͜͜͠͝͝͝█̴̨̡̨̛͚̩͚̼̖͚̭͍͍̼̖̬̣̤̜̣̯̀̓̑̌̏̌͊͛̄͑͂̇̏́̓͗͘͘͝͝█̷̨̧̨̡̨̙̰̝͓͓̬̱̰̗̥̞̣̮̼̞̝̦̱͚̬͈̰͈̦̞̞̠̬̥̣͚̻͎͎̱̹̖̜̎́̍̽̎͂̈́̎̊̑̎̋͛̐̆̅̓̏́̾̈́̓̋╔̵̢̛̛̩͍͖̹͙̥̋̑͋͐̒͂̐͑̅͒̒̐͌̎̀̿͆̈̂̾̆̍̀͐͑̈̕͘̕̕̚͘͠͝╝̶̨̢̧͇͔̼̟͕̹͙̬̪͉̞̼͔̖̼͖̮͉̘͍͈̝͍̮̼̯̱̺̤̱͉̞͖̞͕̜̟̱̤̯̃̈̆̋͋͛̆͘͘̕͜█̵̡̡̧̢͍̟̤̲̮̙̜̺͕̜̰͈͉̬̤̤͇̠͎̺͕̣̀̐̂̀̃͌̏̎͗̍̆̃̒͒̇̒́̈͗̈́̅̉̓̓̃̈́͊̉́͘͝ͅͅ█̵̧̮̣̝̈́̉█̶̨̙̹̯̖̻͇̭̹̥͚͍͍̦̘͇̘͕̮̈́̇̍̂̿̾͌̉́̿̍̓̋̒̂͗̑̓͂͆͆̾̾̈́̈̀͆͑̆̏̓͆͘̕̚̚̚̚͘͜͜͠͝█̸̺͈̬̦͖̜̳͍̝̦̝̿̄̆̂͐́̎̾̅́̓̽̀͗͋̀͑̆̿̌̎̀̉̀̽̈́͗̑͆̈͛͘͜͠█̷̨̨̢̢̠̺̩̯̙̩̥̝̮͚̜̩͕̞̮̬̂̌͊̽̽͂͗̍͑̒͂̐̄̈͊̓̓͆̽̐̔̓̄̀̌̎̚͘͘͘̚̚͝
AmberlynnWEED
stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys